"The smell of cheap cologne poured over the tiny table as my date lurched toward me. He feigned interest in me for a split second after monopolizing our meal with his interests and opinions including the confession that his main goal in life was the ultimate vanity: modeling. He asked, “What do you really want?” I answered, “To be a super hero.” But he missed my attempt at humor and continued blabbing about how he can’t possibly continue modeling because of the economy. I realized that he thinks he is a super hero.
"After a relieving end to my date, I decided to look into the delusions of grandeur abounding in dating twenty-somethings. My date was certainly not Super Man but he’d like to be and after a date with him, I’d rather make-out with The Joker. But, as twenty-somethings, men and women with super powers have been our idols throughout life and that is our aim. The economy sags like a sick joke as we seek jobs but jobs, let alone dream jobs are few and far between. What else do we have to think about but super-power fantasies and dating.
"Tammy Gillette, a twenty-four-year-old teacher told me she’d love to be a super hero with some super power that she could use to change the world; “at least my world,” she explained. Giovanni Vargas, a twenty-three-year-old student admitted to wanting some super powers because it would give him control. He said, “[I could] make a change that I want.”
"Tammy also confessed to using dates as a way to get her mind off work. “Dating equals fun,” she said. On the other hand, the idea of dating a super hero turns her off. Most disliked the idea of dating a super hero. Kristie Smeltzer, a twenty-five-year-old graduate student found super heroes appealing but conceded that a super hero has larger responsibilities than a relationship and “I would have guilt for asking him to choose.” Matthew Smith, a twenty-four-year-old videographer agrees, “Someone who has that much on their plate couldn’t fill my needs.”
"Another reason twenty-somethings dislike dating a super-human-being is the idea of being powerless in comparison. Giovanni wouldn’t date a super hero. He explained, “I’m the man; I would be immasculated.” The idea of a super strong woman also scares Fabian, a twenty-something guy I met at a party. He said that he wouldn’t be good to someone to whom he felt inferior.
"When we all want to be super heroes but no one wants to be with a super hero, how can we ever get together? Keith Sherwood, a twenty-five-year-old writer explained that the bottom line of his relationship is much baser than super powers. His ideal relationship simply involves sharing, equality, respect and love. But those ideals probably sound simpler than they are to acheive.
"Georgianna Miller, a twenty-three-year-old Doctorate student knows that a relationship is more about compromise: learning when to compromise and when not to. But Georgie hasn’t gained that knowledge as of yet.
"So, basically, when twenty-somethings have the ability to get over themselves and realize that super powers are even less of a possibility than finding the perfect job in our sick economy, we can find something we’re looking for. The problem then is figuring out what we want.
"The twenty-somethings I know tend to want attention. Everyone had one thing in common when addressing the question of dating a super hero: everyone craved more attention than a super hero in one form or another. Some wanted to be stronger than their mate; others wanted the super hero to shift their attention from saving the world to them.
"Super powers aside, almost everyone I talked to had a solid idea of their future career but no one had any clue what qualities their mate might have. Georgianna and Kristie think that we come by that information through heart break. Georgianna adds, “It seems unfortunate that you would have to come by growth in that way.”
"But we’re getting stronger with heart break, too. Maybe it won’t make us super heroes but the heroic twenty-somethings told me that they will still date even after these seeming disasters. Kristie said, “It made me a stronger person.” And Tammy fearlessly attempts blind dates after heart break. She still looks for chemistry and doesn’t mind a free meal here and there.
"And each date we boldly go on helps us narrow down the dating pool. Giovanni has learned that he needs someone who can be supportive. But Matthew knows he wants someone unpredictable, unlike other girls he dated in the past.
"Eventually, we’ll narrow it down to one person, I suppose. If we have disqualified everyone else, perhaps we’ve found our one and only. Or maybe the only one left. That person will be super but probably only to us."
What an idyllic little world the immature live in.
3 comments:
Does this post mean something? :-)
I wouldn't say "immature" - I'd say "right on target with the demographic." People in their early 20s tend to want the Superman and, sure, it's unrealistic but that's what the young are. It's a process and if we're anywhere decent now it's because we went through it. I like to thank all of the buffoons I dated in my early 20s for teaching me so well what I don't need now ... sure, it would have been nice if I'd known all along but that would have been ... inexpensive and time-saving. Who needs that?!?
Ha! Ha! Ironically, I didn't find my soul mate through heartbreak, but through dating tons of people until I knew myself well enough to know what I'd put up with and what I wouldn't. I thought I knew it all, then...
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